July 2003 Archives

I was looking at a list of spells from the new edition (3.5) of Dungeons & Dragons, and thought I'd read a spell name that couldn't be right. I looked again, and realized it was actually "Enlarge Person, Mass", much to my relief.

Never mind what it was that I thought I'd read. Let's just say that I've been getting way too much spam lately.

I never thought they'd go through with it, but publishing company White Wolf is bringing an end to its series of modern horror role-playing games. I've never been especially into playing these games, but I have been interested in the metaplot that they've been building for years. They've been hinting at a coming apocalypse for their game world from the very first edition of Vampire: The Masquerade, though. I'm curious to see if this is really the end of the world or simply the beginning of a new one.

Discussion with a Tech Support guy about cleaning up redundant and/or bogus data in one of our databases:

Me: How would you like that query sorted?

Tech: Can you sort by stupidity?

Me: No, but it would make things a lot easier.

In case MSNBC's firing of Michael Savage had you worried, take heart: The network is still a haven for right-wing crackpots too looney for Fox News. Talking head Pat Buchanan has identified a new member of the axis of evil: Soviet Canuckistan, better known to pinkos everywhere as Canada. Update: Somehow, I didn't notice when I first saw this story (and damn if I can remember where I first saw it linked) how old it was: Last November. So what; he's still a nutcase.

One of the few things that has kept me vaguly sane in the political environment of the las couple of years is Jon Stewart's The Daily Show. I wish I'd seen Bill Moyers's interview with Jon last week, but at least the transcript is online.

MOYERS: What do you see that we journalists don't see?

STEWART: I don't think... I think we see exactly what you do see. And… but for some reason, don't analyze it in that manner or put it on the air in that manner. I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, "Boy that's…I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that." And I always think, "Well, why don't you?"

...

MOYERS: Which is funnier? CROSSFIRE or HARDBALL?

STEWART: CROSSFIRE or HARDBALL? Which is funnier? Which is more soul-crushing, do you mean? Both are equally dispiriting in their… you know, the whole idea that political discourse has degenerated into shows that have to be entitled CROSSFIRE and HARDBALL. And you know, "I'm Gonna Beat Your Ass" or whatever they're calling them these days is mind-boggling.

CROSSFIRE, especially, is completely an apropos name. It's what innocent bystanders are caught in when gangs are fighting. And it just boggles my mind that that's given a half hour, an hour a day to… I don't understand how issues can be dissected from the left and from the right as though… even cartoon characters have more than left and right. They have up and down.

I mean, how... it's so two-dimensional to think that any analysis can come from, "It's the left and it's the right and well, we've had that discussion and that's done."

[via WorkingForChange]

Pirates of the Caribbean is the best undead pirate movie of the summer. Mind you, it's bucking for the best movie of the summer, period. Go.

When you leave discussion threads open on old weblog entries, it can be surprising to find new comments added to a months-old post. Apparently, in an attempt to learn something about cargo cults, a couple of net folk have stumbled across an old mini-rant that wasn't particularly informative. Let me see if I can provide a bit more useful information.

Ashton Kutcher must die.

I can't stomach the rumors any more. First, he's said to be under consideration to star in a proposed Superman flick. Now, Warner Brothers wants to cast That '70s Dimwit as the Dark Knight in their next attempt to ruin the Batman franchise — and possibly superhero movies in general — for all time.

Right now, ESPN is running a poll to determine the most overrated person alive. Originally, I was hoping for an all-J-Lo final bracket, since Ms. Lopez is incredibly overrated in the fields of both music and drama. However, with her elimination from both trees, the true path is clear. Please join me in taking the poll and help to cement Mr. Kutcher's deserved position in obscurity as soon as possible. Future generations will be grateful — or better yet, be spared knowing what they need to be grateful for.

Whale skin? Giant Octopus? Marine biologists are trying to figure out what sort of creature could have produced the gigantic blob that washed up on a Chilean beach.

Now, this is a casemod. Update: The Empire strikes back.