Better get a bucket.

The raging epidemic of Mad Carb Disease is leading to increasingly bizarre culinary behavior across this country. The latest food under siege: the noble pizza. I'm willing to consider the possibility that reduced-carb crusts have their merits (and can't be much worse than what passes for pizza crust in St. Louis). This alleged "pizza-in-a-bucket" nonsense, on the other hand, is a threat to all that is good and right. It's not pizza. It's pizza-less pizza.

(By the way, I gotta ask: Are low-carb, high-protein diets taken seriously anywhere else in the world, or are they a uniquely American pathology?)